Lakin Memorial Tribute
Video from the Memorial at Solomon Schechter Day School can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUX46MTEstG3sVqHK3okz-Q
Arnold Dashefsky, November 1, 2015, 19 Heshvan 5776
I am here to mourn the tragic passing of our friend for nearly forty years, Richard Lakin z”l, who succumbed last week to his wounds from a murderous assault in JM nearly three weeks ago. My wife Sandy and I became friendly with Richard and Karen nearly forty years ago when our children became friends while attending the SSDS in the original building at the Emanuel. Later, our friendship grew when Richard and I co-chaired the education committee of the school. In that capacity, I saw in Richard the caring concern for all of the individuals in the Schechter community- the students, staff, and parents- that personified his life. Many a time, Richard and Karen, together with their children, Micah and Manya, would meet Sandy and me, together with our children, Michael and Alisa, at the now long-gone Bonanza Restaurant on the East Hartford/Manchester town line to deal with the latest educational issue at the Schechter School.
And many years later, Richard would translate his caring concern for students, teachers, and the educational process into a book, Teaching as an Act of Love, and we would go together to the UCONN COOP Bookstore for a book signing devoted to his publication.
Richard and Karen last visited Sandy and me for over a week at the end of this past summer. We had a wonderful time together by reliving past memories; by sharing a Shabbat meal together; by talking about his latest project, a book and film; by revisiting the UCONN campus; by going to their favorite CT restaurant, Rein’s Deli; and by Karen and Richard advising me on my planned trip to Israel later this year to see my ailing sister. The very last words that he said to me on his departure were: “I’ll come with Karen to pick you up at the airport.”
In reflecting on Richard’s life, three quotations from the Tanakh (the Hebrew Bible) come to mind:
- V’ahavta l’rei’akha kamokha, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18).
- Tzedek tzedek tirdof, “Justice and only justice shall you follow” (Deuteronomy 16:20).
- Shalom shalom la’rahok v’lakarov, “Peace, peace to one that is far off and to one that is near” (Isaiah 57:19).
Notice in the latter two quotes the repetition of the words “justice” and “peace.” If the Tanakh were written in the word processing program of WORD, what would see on your computer screen? A blue squiggly line would appear, indicating a typing error. But in the biblical text, this is not a scribal error. Rather, it is the biblical way of placing emphasis on justice and peace, which is what Richard, along with his loving nature, did in his life.
Indeed, these quotations were emblematic of Richard’s life: whether in the freedom rides that Karen and he took to desegregate lunch counters in the South, nearly sixty years ago, even before the civil rights movement became a national issue; whether in his work as a dynamic principal in the Hopewell School in Glastonbury, currently being petitioned to be renamed, as we are given to understand, the Richard Lakin School; whether in his role as an active parental advocate at the Schechter School; whether in his creation in Israel- with Karen- after their aliyah in the 1980s of Ha’breirah Halimudit, The Learning Alternative, which provided English tutoring services to school children, both Jewish and Arab in JM; whether in his and Karen’s pursuit of peaceful coexistence between Arabs and Jews, so graphically illustrated on Richard’s Facebook page.
In fact, Richard’s Hebrew name was R’fael, or Raphael in English, which means “G-d has healed.” Richard lived his life as a healer in promoting love, pursuing justice, and seeking peace, which personified who he was- not just as a gifted educator but also as a loving family man and friend.
As you can see, Richard, indeed, was a person who lived his life in the quest for justice, for peace, and for love. I will always remember him as well for his caring and compassion, for his insight and wisdom, for his many talents- including his participation in several musical productions in Israel, and for his wonderful sense of humor. It is all the more tragic that such a person’s life was cut short by a murderous assault.
But in conclusion, I wish to stress that Richard would NOT want us to succumb to a sense of despair and pessimism but rather to dedicate ourselves to fulfill his vision of love and justice and peace, which his family continues to pursue after his passing.
In the immortal words of the Hebrew phrase, coined by none other than President Bill Clinton at the funeral of Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, exactly twenty years ago this week, I too say: Shalom Haver. Goodbye Friend. Y’hei zikhro barukh. May his memory be blessed.
And thanks to all of you for coming today to share in our collective grief.